T.O.’s Next Job

I saw SportsCenter yesterday had this clever animation demonstrating how T.O. is unlikely to be picked up by many teams in the league, except maybe Denver. Maybe he will be looking for a career change. My friend Rob sent me this piece from Information Week. Supposedly this is a real memo from Oracle CEO Larry Ellison. Who knows, its pretty funny though.

To: Safra Catz; From: Larry
Safra: I’ve been thinking about our CFO situation since Maffei left, and I believe I have a solution. I think we should hire the former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens for the position. Don’t get your back up; it makes sense for a lot of reasons. First, Owens is available right now, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding with his employer. Owens represents the Oracle mind-set in many ways: He’s an independent thinker, an aggressive go-getter, a win-at-any-cost player. Software and football have a lot in common: You have to have a quarterback (me), a strong running back (you), a receiver to pass to (Phillips), and linemen to block and run interference (you know, those other people). As CFO, Owens could be a ringer, in more ways than one. I suppose he doesn’t know much about corporate finance, but he can learn on the job. I have a feeling Owens and I have much in common, and I think we’ll get along very well. Besides, if we hire him now, I can hold onto him until I finally get my NFL franchise. Do you want to contact him, or do you want me to? Thanks. Let me know what he says.

I think hiring T.O. would be corporate cancer for Oracle. I hope they feel comfortable renegotiating his contract on a monthly basis. I assume this is just a joke, but the truth is T.O. might want to start looking at his options. I think he’s going to have a hard time finding good work in the National Football League.

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